5 ways to answer "Tell me about a time you had a conflict"

Example answer: non-workplace conflict

"I'd like to tell you about a conflict I had outside the workplace, as I think the lessons I learned are very relevant to the role. How does that sound?

(Situation)

During my time as a student, I was part of a group entreprenuership project. We were given a $300 dollar budget to set up a business venture and try and make a profit over a three-day period.

(Problem)

There were a couple of team members who had very strong ideas and seemed to want to dominate every aspect of decision-making, sidelining other team members. Furthermore, another student who was very vocal in the beginning had seemingly lost interest and was making lots of negative comments.

We had no set roles and I quickly realized that this was the main cause of the problem, as it meant that we were all debating every decision and whoever insisted most strongly got their way.

(Solution)

I initiated a discussion and proposed that we demarcated areas of responsibilities in a way that was fair and gave everyone some agency in the project. I suggested that this would be much more efficient as we wouldn't have to debate every single decision that needed making. Everyone agreed and we divided up into various areas - product, operations, marketing, etc.

I then talked to the negative team member in private. With some coaxing, he told me that he felt that his ideas had been ignored by everyone, myself included. I apoligised sincerely and explained that I had been having difficulty organizing my thoughts and my lack of response was in no reflection on what I thought of his ideas. I promised to listen more carefully to them moving forward.

(Impact)

I think the team member just needed to feel listened to, as his attitude improved a lot and he made good progress in his area of the project. I made a mental note to try harder to show that I valued all the team members opinions and to always provide a well-considered response.

With divided responsibilities we worked much more efficiently and harmoniously, and we were able to successfully complete the challenge by making a small profit.

(Lessons)

I learned that demarcating responsibilities and fostering open communication are key to conflict prevention and effective collaboration. I also saw that acknowledging and valuing every team member's input, regardless of assertiveness, is vital, and something that I needed to get better at."

Example answer: personality clash

(Situation)

“Unfortunately, over the years I’ve found that conflicts can sometimes arise from clashing personalities. When I was a lead software engineer at a fintech startup, one of my new engineers, Rob, told me that he had a hard time working with another engineer, Benji. 

(Problem)

He explained that Benji was consistently rude and demeaning to him, to the extent that Rob was ready to change teams or even leave the company.

(Solution)

With Rob’s permission, I brought this up with Benji in our next one-on-one. Benji admitted that he likes to joke around and tease his coworkers, but that none of it was ill-intended and he didn’t feel that he had done anything wrong.

However, I insisted to Benji that while I personally enjoyed his sense of humor, we all had a responsibility to make sure we created a friendly, safe and professional environment for every team member. I encouraged him to speak to Rob directly and apologize for the misunderstanding, and to keep his interactions with Rob more matter-of-fact in the future.

(Impact)

I offered to be present as a mediator, but Ben elected to initiate the conversation himself. I checked in with Rob regularly in the weeks and months following, and he reported that his working relationship with Ben had greatly improved.

(Lessons)

The experience showed me that people can perceive the same situation very differently, and often the key to solving conflicts is simply talking it through and listening actively.”

Example answer: behavior clash

(Situation)

“In my past job, when I first joined I was very eager and frequently jumped in with ideas and volunteered to lend a hand in many tasks.

(Problem)

I began to notice in our team meetings that one of my coworkers began cutting me off when I presented ideas. Later, when I volunteered to help with a task that concerned his functional area, he neglected to give me the information and resources I needed.

(Solution)

To solve this, my first step was to examine my own behavior to understand how it may have sparked the conflict. I determined that my eagerness to contribute to the discussions and project may have overstepped some bounds.

My next step was to meet with my coworker. I politely expressed how his behavior was preventing me from speaking up in meetings and helping with important tasks, then asked if I had overstepped any boundaries. He agreed, explaining that I had taken up too much time in the meetings, giving him and others less of an opportunity to present their teams’ work.

First, I apologized for my initial behavior, and promised I would be more attentive to the time I spent speaking in meetings and would only volunteer for tasks when I was confident I was well equipped to contribute. In exchange, I requested that he approach me in case further issues arise, instead of closing me off from discussions or projects. He agreed.

(Impact)

From then on, we each adjusted our behavior and worked on many successful projects together without any further problem.

(Lessons)

This experience taught me to be much more receptive to coworkers’ feedback and work to keep my contributions quick and to the point in meetings. Also, it taught me to address issues as soon as they arise, as we were able to move on from that conflict very quickly instead of allowing it to grow into a larger problem.”

Example answer:

(Situation)

Certainly. In my previous role I found myself in the midst of a conflict regarding resource allocation for two critical projects within our development team.

(Problem)
The conflict arose when both the product development and infrastructure enhancement teams were vying for the same limited resources for their respective projects. I could empathise with both their perspectives but it seemed to me that many of the people involved were basing their arguments on their "gut feeling" around what was "fair".

(Solution)

Recognizing the potential disruption this conflict could cause, I organized a collaborative discussion involving representatives from both teams, project managers, and the leadership. During this discussion, we openly addressed the conflicting priorities and resource needs of each project. I encouraged a transparent sharing of data and information regarding the potential impact of both projects on the company's goals.

This way we were able to base our discussion around the data, rather than around people's subjective opinions and hunches.

(Impact)

By presenting a data-driven analysis and illustrating how each project aligned with the company's objectives, we were able to justify the resource allocation for both initiatives. The infrastructure team ended up with slightly less than they were hoping for, but presented with the data, they accepted that this was a fair distribution of resources. In the end, both projects progressed effectively.

(Lessons)

Ultimately, this experience taught me how useful data can be in solving or avoiding these types of conflicts. When people are using opinion, hunches and emotions to make decisions, disagreements occur and they tend to feel more personal. But when the decision-making process is data-driven there is less room for subjective opinion and it becomes easier to align different stakeholders."

Example answer:

(Situation)

Certainly. In my role as a engineering manager at small startup, I encountered a conflict related to client expectations versus technical feasibility.

(Problem)

We were tasked with developing a cutting-edge feature within a tight timeframe, but as we delved deeper, it became evident that meeting the initial requirements precisely would pose significant technical challenges.

Talking to the account manager I understood that the client was getting increasingly frustrated, even though my engineers were frequently staying late to try and meet deadlines. This frustration was also negatively affecting the relationship between the accounts team and my engineers.

(Solution)

Normally we left client relationships to the accounts team, but in this case I initiated an in-person meeting involving both our development team and the client stakeholders. I felt that as the technical experts, we were best place to explain to them why it was not a good idea to rush the developments through, as they wanted.

During the meeting, we presented a detailed technical analysis, showcasing the current project status and explaining the limitations we were facing. We proposed alternative approaches that could achieve a similar outcome without jeopardizing the stability and quality of the product.

(Impact)

The client really appreciated the detailed explanation and admitted that they hadn't fully understood the complexity of what they were asking for. Having the meeting in-person was really helpful too, as it helped create an atmosphere of honesty and trust that had been difficult to achieve in video calls.

After this meeting, we agreed upon a modified solution that balanced their expectations with the technical reality.

(Lessons)

For me, this experience shows that so many instances of conflict and stress are simply the result of misaligned expectations, and can be solved through honest and open communication. I also realised that empathy is one of the most important skills I can have as a manager: to solve the conflict, I needed to understand the perspectives of the my engineers, the client, and the accounts team. Taking the time to listen and empathise with each viewpoint is crucial in these types of situations."